those days behind everybody

srsly

what now? so why do you keep looking at it then?

no, you're not the only one.

no, you're not the only one who thought i was selfish (as advertised. but you can't grasp those kinda warnings, do you? (as advertised)), but i guess i'm not the only one who thought you were, too (maybe i am).

no, you're not the only one who's trying to figure out a better job at being a decent human being here. although that shit is hard as fuck, i've been flipping back and forth about it for decades. and there are just times you're gonna spend more time on the dark side than the side you may be trying to cling on every single day (i mean, c'mon..not me). you know the situation. i know yours. i eventually told you the main(?) reason. you never told yours. i was on the not so nice side during "our time", but i never, for once, intended to stay there longer than i could stand my own self. but if i come across to you as that, that's you. i should probably apologize for acknowledging reality and being honest about it. or not.

i know you're not the only one.

no, you're not the only one who figured out that at some point, the need to drop off the map overpowers your will to push through your daily crowd. no messages. no warnings. no traces. blissful breathing. but why are you here now?

no, you're not the only one who realized we're noone in the face of everyone. we're just this speck of matter being reflected to others' eyes. and our thoughts and opinions are just a miniscule fragment of the endless ones and zeros floating freely on the ether. but we matter, at least to those who cares. and i get it, almost nobody cares. so we trained ourselves to keep our thoughts locked in a small vault, not to be bothered. but sometimes, when it hits you just right, they start to slip past the locks and we spew out future embarassments faster than we're aware of it. you're no stranger to it. look. (you like that show, don't you?) (aha!)

no, you're not the only one who've shifted to the sunshines and unicorns side of the road. but nah..i'll stay here on the real road. hard concrete. hot ass asphalt. where spreading hate is somehow a byproduct of the real shit that happens. knee-skinning words. it is what it is. eat their shit and let 'em eat yours. dab alcohol on your wound and walk on. you know better. i know you do.

and no. no, you're not the only one who felt that. i did, too. so as everybody else. i don't mind you calling me out. but my words and yours came from the same exact water well, pissed and shat by reality. i feel you. but i ain't sorry. i don't need be.

http://pato-d-poorkid.blogspot.com/2018/04/srsly-2.html?m=1

i see smoke

because in my head, i already left

CaptainCrew Paintball

CaptainCrew

Team Building
Global Gutz Paintball
Army Gym Taguig
20170907



song: blinded by fear
album: slaughter of the soul
artist: at the gates
released: 1995
label: earache

fyi

fuck you, idiot.

wifi

well, fuck you.

2007.09.07_3

the sound of your footsteps toward me now seems a fad
like when your heart beats my name on the other side of the bed
back when i realized things're bound to stay the same, i expected nothing
but the soft whisper on my ear of "i'm leaving"

a million words failed to perform their tasks
a soul of faith that i know would no longer last
when she won't quit on the distractions, never intended to
would it still be smart to recommence what i used to do?

who's numb?
who's fine?
who's wrong?
who's blind?

i hate this
it won't cease


2007.09.07_3

2010.09.06_10-12

hey, you little star
what are you starin' down at me?
hey there, wishing star
why did you come so alone?

do you have somethin of my use?
or you're there just to accuse?
coz there ain't no better time to do it
so do it

the city lights are burning
are the other stars hiding from you?
i'm wishing, waiting and whining
with all due respect, these points out to you


2010.09.06_10-12

manika

it took forever for me
to look into your eyes
for the first time, i saw you
i know i could die
just to be with you
but i know, you'll never do

with you killer smile, your lips
i just want to kiss
away my troubles, while i'm
listening to your songs of
love

wow
i just fell in love with you
i don't know why
but i know it's true
i just fell in love with you

you're like a child, playing
little barbie doll
and you're inviting me
to share that precious happiness
with you, you, oh
you, now i love you


2003.09.07_P02-09_manika

2006.09.06_66

back on the tower, i saw her
gliding down in her favorite gown

she held my hand and led to acres of heaven on earth
sweet ravishing bliss brought forth on rebirth
reality clock tolled, called to let us realize
summer hours were dying, running out fast!

what happens next when completion's not completed?

sincere contrition!
shattered wisdom!
obvious frustrations!

walked around in circles for the last time we guessed
took the long road on purpose to hide away our branded little kiss
jumped on a rope in irony, rather than put them 'round our necks
moonlight hit her eyes teary, so as her scorching lips!

now air's blowin torture misty wind
uttering her name, so soft, a gentle whisper, as if she's still beside me

the mystery in her quaffed the one in me
"and what do you think i came down here for?
to let you witness me rot alone? no!
if only i could injure your wings (just to make void of your flight)
if only i could bring back the roses of spring (just to restart new summer nights)
if only i could release all these screams (just to let you go in cardinal peace)
dark music echoed, rhymed in feast (scary knife playin the violin to tease)
i felt it in my chest
as you flew away..


2006.09.06_66

half

this is the kind of moment i need wendy's ears and tongue.

kars 4

to assume that everyone owns a car is not only insensitive but is also downright stupid. first, not everyone can afford it. second, not everyone wants one. or it could be the other way around.

state

great songs were written with almost no meaning. they let the listeners fill in the gaps and cracks with their own emotions.