makes sense?

it will all make sense when you start to realize that nothing makes sense.

i've been hit by a bell

your worth seemed to be bound
to fall down to the ground
which i am
so don't be afraid from them
for i am gonna catch you
always and again

what if the grudge you hold is me?
will you still keep on holding?
you flame on easily
then your glow keeps on burning (in me)

you swing your insides
a lot of times
it's all ok
never look down on you
coz if you are not pretty
then, noone is

i'm not telling you to trust me
but i'll tell you you'll make it through
you'll make it
we're gonna make it
(or maybe / together)
(you'll hate me / we'll hate them)
(then hate me more / we'll hate them all)

confidence is only illusion
it's all inside
it's all inside
it's all inside
you're so mean
i won't bother your dark half
you're so nice
(then) i'll come see for myself
(then) i'll come see for myself
let me come see for myself
let me come..


2005.09.03_28_i've been hit by a bell

ambulansya

ito na ba ang dulo
ng kung ano man ito?
basta, mahirap dito

ano na ba ang umusad
bukod sa edad
at sa paang inilakad?

paano na ang paghinga ko
kung bukas, makalawa, andito pa rin ako?
mabuti ka pa, mabuti pa kayo
pabalik na kayo, pabalik pa lang ako

kailangan ko na ng tulong
bakit ba ayaw n'yo nang lumingon?
paano nga ulit bumangon
kapag nahampas ka ng alon?
hindi ko hiling ang grasya
okey na ako sa pag-asa
pero nilamon na ako ng drama
kaya tumawag na kayo (ng ambulansya / naambunan s'ya)

ilan pa bang baitang
ang aakyatan?
'di ko na kayo maaninagan

bakit nag-iisa na ako
kahit naririto pa kayo?
kulang na ang barya sa bulsa
parang noong nasa umpisa


2010.09.03_10-11_ambulansya

stolen institution

why do we have to be like this
why is povertys so tragic
broken self-promises
broken dreams
broken lives
broken schemes

is this life?
is this what you call life?
if this is life
then the rich should die

why can't we go to a place we want to go
why can't we be the one we want to be
stolen self satisfaction
stolen dignity
stolen chances
to live a life we want to live

we laugh
pretending to be satisfied
but deep inside
we cry
our hearts are on their knees
praying for death

why can't i see a single indication
of abundance and profusion
mixed joy and tears
mixed hate and fears
asking why we're here
why

i'm hallucinating
my ground is hostile and breaking
making a wave of confusions
why do we have to live through confusions
instant reaction
series of realizations
that we will stay here forever
broken forever


2004.09.03_O07-01_stolen institution

servitude by means of malfunction

i couldn't concentrate
can't even try to
these thoughts are once again
taking me down

i couldn't relax
though i'm pushing through
i'm trembling with rage
in a convulsion

posthumous fame
posthumous abundance
my own death
in compliance

murderer
this scene is a murderer

awakened senses
dusk til dawn
no particular permanence
no exceptions

it's hard to participate
in abundant activity
can't avoid the cleverness
of my captivity

this scene
it's so mean
no one can get away in a blink of their eyes
no one can have what they desire
i still can't believe the meanness of this enterprise
i cannot prognosticate with all its lies
denounce


2004.09.03_O07-02_servitude by means of malfunction

meet me there

wendy. you up for sitting around coffee and awkward glances with no words? meet me there.

so

i'm so fucking stressed out.

hold the rope and hang on

wishing i could fly away to be near you
wishing this day won't end til you are with me
searching for the reason
why do we have to end this way
is there a reason for you not to stay

bitin' me inside
it's bitin' inside

can't even imagine
those things you did
i'm left under the bridge of confusions
not so amusing
can't stand to see
the face of your lies

now i see the reason why did you go
afraid of all the shame pointed at you
you're searching for reasons
why do you have to end that way
for the reason is in your heart

bitin'
can't fight it
bitin'
there's nothing for me to do
there's nothing for me to hold
bitin'
can't fight it
bitin'
bitin' me inside
it's bitin' me inside
bitin' inside
it's bitin' inside


2004.09.02_T07-10_hold the rope and hang on

zoo york days

philcom website photoshoot

20101201

abby malijan

michelle angeles

ana amparo

pato sandoval

i was the only guy available. they had no other choice.

the night i became what i thought i wanted to be

20081029

giligans makati

engineers: ra, chuket, pato

friends: alleli, maylette, lora, karen

we met to take our minds off from the then recently concluded october 2008 ece board exam. we were expecting the results later that week. and just as we walked out the place, phones started ringing and that was when i (maybe we) became what i thought i wanted to be.

ECE#42347

( i was wearing my "empathy" shirt)

milkmen

20080922

arellano university

willie miller

poch juinio

jojo lastimosa

bong hawkins

coach tim cone

i hate this guy

please read this, please

a simple composition
from an anonymous writer
a unanimous decision was made
to put this one on this page

this is all about..nothing
nothing in the sense of..nothing
i just want to tell everybody
that my existence have a meaning

i am alive, i breathe
i was born to stand on my feet
but i am just an ordinary human
and i'm glad to be

we don't need fame and money
we don't have to save our country
just be you, and i'll be me
i think that's enough for humanity

no need to argue, no need to fight
coz for ourselves, we're always right, right?
no one will win, no one will lose
no one's guilty, no one's accused

get up, stand up high
tell the mirror "i'll reach the sky"
but after it, i know you'll think
"am i really going for it?"

maybe you'll say yes, maybe no
it's in your hands, wherever you wanna go
just be sure you won't hit the wall
be sure you will never fall

now i ask myself, why did i write this?
does it have a meaning? i'm clueless
i just picked up a pen and a paper
then these words came out, and you can make this better

try to look for what i try to say
try to find the message if there is
if you didn't find it, it's ok
but if you found it, tell me what it is, please


2004.09.01_T07-09_please read this, please