12:16

moments, still hanging by
time, still passing by
but you are just too lazy
about our love story

you brought, smile to my face
when you gave me
the handkerchief you wore
back when we're on the swimming pool

everything you do
it all matters to me

holding on to you
is like walking on tacks with no shoe
grabbing on to you
same old shit
i always go through
when i'm with you
i always end up with nothing

we met, last semestral break
we should be talking, i can't wait
and then to nowhere i went
because of that car accident

from the small town you are living
i heard you're moving
to another place i don't know
i don't want you to go

i miss you, now we're growing
i miss you, now i'm wearing
the perfume gas you wore
back when we're in highschool

i guess this is the end
of my fucking love song
now it's time for me
to move on


2004.03.20_A04-05_12:16

my chastity

gave you almost my whole life
half of me is with you now
take by your heart  in flames
thought of letting go somehow

tears along my shattered dreams
you decided to leave everything
now i forgot how to forgive
for i don't know if tomorrow, i'll still live

now is it over?
i know you're glad
for everything you have now
is this over
yes over
over for me

you know you're all that i have
gave you all that i have
you took all that i have
you took all that i have

i have to move on to my next page
though your memory still haunts me
it's so hard to face a single day
without your presence killing me


2004.12.15_O08-06_my chastity

2005.12.15_46

defying the light of the sun
your stars are blinding me black
those hopes are now despairs
myself..out..locked!

more alibis
more lies
more tears
no light!

a heart so transparent
yet so unpredictable
a tongue so silent
yet so dangerous
yet so uncontrollable!
yet so poisonous!

leaves of autumn tries to cling
last drop of sanity pours
i see them laugh but hear nothing
(you) my cross..my blood..my death!

red and black (!)
crawling under (me!)
blood and death (!)
walking after (me!)
(repeat)

you're all that's left
now lost
now i'm lost
so afraid
i still wait!


2005.12.15_46

fade

should i let you know that you resemble a past
should i let you know that i am dying at last
you got me all mixed up
now your smile is all i've got
to get me to ask you
if you can save me
so i can try to save you

wear your own glasses
and look at the pieces of what you still have
isn't it great that everytime you breathe
you're saving someone's ass

just by staring, your smile is worth my life
just by staring back, tells me those cards are always right
what if my everything's intended to end up with you
would you rather slit your wrist again or accept the truth?

should i let you know that now i'm more like dead
should i let you know that if i wasn't interrupted
that strangest night
i'd be pushin my way through
to get me to ask you
if you can stay with me
so i can try to save you

wear your glasses
and look at the pieces of what you save, you don't even know you are saving
you don't even know who you're saving
you don't even know i need to e saved, fade..
fade..fade..fade..
please..


2007.12.14_9_fade

===============================

fayed

launch under

you looked into me
for a single moment, you're under me
walked behind you
then there's nothing left
nothing left

killing every part
you've been the doubt of my heart
chasing you
with another
another

hit me
the exact
magnitude
as my
love

i'd rather die behind our wall
than take my fall
with someone else
i'll never find another wheel
to turn and steer
than your own

never will it matter
these riots in my head
never will it matter
these ruins inside me


2004.12.15_O08-05_launch under

===============================

launch
laundry

i missed

i thought i got you this time
you're mine
so wrong, so wrong
i thought once again you'll be here
after
so long, so long

now
tears are here
drowning me
my breath'll soon be gone
wishin'
you'd help me
be here
and be mine all the time

if i could turn back
the hands of time
i'll never hide this feeling
that's been creepin' inside me
for so long
i can't keep this so long
if you won't be here
now, now

i thought i got you in my hands
my heart bends
so badly, so badly
i thought your face is so clear
so real
it's a lie, i'm a lie


2004.12.13_O08-03_i missed

===============================

historic pallas

apartheid

don't try to ignore
i know you know me
just like before
it's always like this
like this

i'm down underneath
i couldn't get up
oh, help me please
seems like you're thousand miles
thousand miles away

i can hear your footsteps
getting away and away
please don't leave me behind
for the (first / last) time
let me feel you're min

we've been here before
and i felt this a million times
please forgive me
for now's the last and only time left

we've been here before
and i'll never be here no more!


2004.12.12_O08-01_apartheid

===============================

wrote this in a friend's car

shifting gear

your smile
took me away
now there's a change
i'll take it away

my heart's
confusing my mind
everytime
i get lost without you

dreamin' of a better tomorrow
as fire lights up my mind
this heart is so converted
to something, someone else
and i fear my own words
if you're here, i might
scream to death
as you watch me drift away

those miles
oceans so deep
kept you away
it's so better
so better

dreamin' of a better tomorrow
without you
without you


2004.12.12_O08-02_shifting gear

===============================

wrote this in a friend's car

access road

the lights are out of focus, but not for long

if there's a music to it, it is this song

game over

i'm ok.

as i wake up

sacrifice yours
give it up, give it
don't take anything
no one is giving

something to pay for
yourself, upon it
you may find
you may find no one

suffer
a love to die for
suffer
uncontrollable
suffer
a love to die for
suffer
suffer

open your heart-shaped mind
bring it close to you
and tempt your tounge into
something bitter than before

ignorant eyes so tamed
lips waiting in vain
resurrection of my dead heart
suffering


2004.12.10_T08-10_as i wake up

2009.12.10_6

so in these last days of me
before forever darkness bites
hopin you're the last that i see
you, my only aperture of light

forever in this side is not real
i never believed in it anyway
but at this moment, still..
i'm wishing you'd be with me all the way

there won't be no more Summer
no more Autumn
there won't be no more..nomor..

i've never sold myself this short
this is where everything goesto waste
this is the hardest so far
this is me in pitch black haze

i give up
i'm sorry
i quit
as always

i thought no one could say how's these gonna end..
well, i guess i can..
watch.


2009.12.10_6

t-gun

i can't define
what i feel for you
walk away, walk away
walk away from me

i heard you scream
while you watch me die
take me, take me
take me, away

you're begging me to come to you
but when i do, you pull away
i'll break your neck, you little bitch
i'm tired of all the games you play

i wish you're me
so that you will feel
what i feel
what i feel
from what you did to me

if you want me
if you need me
just come to me
and i will throw you away
if you want me
if you need me
just come to me


2003.07.22_O02-03_t-gun