the good

so it's my birthday, the first one i spent in my hometown in a very long time..and my uncle just died. coincidence is annoying sometimes.

he was my mother's older sister's husband. he was really good to me when i was a kid, but he was one of those people that are so kind and good with kids but relatively almost horrible to other people, that is when it comes to money.

i call him daddy, and my aunt mommy. i call mama and papa another uncle-aunt couple. my mom and dad, i call them nanay and tatay.

last memory i can recall of him was when i was still a kid. i may have seen him a few times when i got older but i have no recollection of any of it at all. i used to visit them as a kid almost everyday to play with my cousins and also because they were the well-off family with more toys and their fridge had more food. but i barely visited when i started college and was allowed inside information of what was really happening with our family. the lands that were grabbed and transferred ownership without the knowledge of everybody. the crops that vanished without landing a single banana or coconut or a grain of rice on our porch. i hated them for it. i asked my mom..no i demanded my mom not to care anymore and just let them have what they wanted. a fraction of land would probably do us good, but i thought we lived without it all our lives anyway, and my father couldn't care less. we always play the bigger person. always. i'm pretty sure i swore not to forgive them for how they treated my mom and took advantage of her pure kindness.

me and my cousins have no conflict at all whatsoever, but we became the collateral victims in this, and i miss them sometimes. when i heard he fell sick, i felt sorry..of course. as one of my aunt's verbatim, "kahit pala masama ang ugali, nakakaawa din pag mamamatay na." i considered visiting everytime i was in town, which is very rare, but i just couldn't find the time. and i swear i had this mind story of saving him in one of my hero thoughts. like paying for his hospital bill or something like that.

he will always be the uncle who will give me 5 pesos whenever i ask for 2. i forgave him already. i forgave all of them already. but i didn't let go soon enough. i didn't let go soon enough. goodbye daddy.

31 squared

20170526-1738

thumbstronaut
lift off
taguig

20170527-0032

rainy stop over

20170527-0439

partas bus station, vigan

20170527-0823

touchdown pagudpod

20170527-0928

it's been argued that there are more stars in our night sky

than grains of sand in all of earth's beaches and deserts

20170527-1054
the juxtaposition

20170527-1753

northern foam

20170527-1947

happy three friends

20170527-2215

"We agree on a plan..designed to land us in bed by one o'clock.."

up in the air

walter kirn

20170528-1101

walking south

20170528-1105

i loco s norte

20170528-1112

empanada

20170528-1420

chavit

20170528-1458

he's not supposed to be there

20170528-1501

5-legged aussies

20170528-1551

calle crisologo, i am not impressed

20170528-1620
vigitarian

20170528-2027

touchdown the circle, san juan, la union

20170529-0054

first night IN the circle

20170529-0102

spoken whatevs collaboration

(anya)

ayaw ko pang umpisahan ang kabanatang

(denise)

hindi nagtapos sa tuldok

(becca)

ngunit, sa bawat kuwit sa ating kwento

(riz)

ako'y nanghihina, puso'y humihinto

(uncle tom)

binubuhat ang bigat, ngunit paa'y pilit lumalapat

(anya)

matagal nang gustong tumakbo palayo

ngunit ang mga minsan mong pagtanong

ay parang mga kadenang ayaw ako pakawalan

(denise)

madalas nang isinigaw ng puso kong traydor

(becca)

paulit-ulit nitong binabato ang salita sa hangin

(riz)

pinipilit kong saluhin pero ako ang nahuhulog

(uncle tom)

mga ngiting ipinipilit para ibalot ang sakit

mga sugat na nagdurugo, ipinupunas sa damit

kaya sa paggulong ng panahon at paglipad ng mga araw

isang bagay lang ang nais, sana'y di ka na tanaw

(anya)

nang maumpisahan ko na

ang pagsulat nang ating katapusan.

20170529-0137

that's denise, waiting for her "ka-tagpo"

20170529-0703

wet philippine sea

20170529-0708

early north-west foam

20170529-0935

strangers

(anya, lloyd, matt's back, part of denise, riz, becca, yass, the couple, jess)

20170529-1139

cliff diving

20170529-1145

these kids are crazy, jumping off cliffs and shit

matt-jess-becca-denise-yass-anya-----riz

20170529-1322

tangang-daan falls

20170529-1330

apo tungkod

20170529-1411

a thing of beauty

for all mankind

20170529-1719

storm's a coming at flotsam beach

20170530-0647

last day bunks

20170530-0713

you damn right

20170530-0714

kids! remember!

20170530-1204

kids-1

20170530-1210

the kids

20170530-1239

sink your miseries into the journey

and let strangers color the destinations

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the last trip

it has been argued that we only know light through darkness, sound through silence, and with the same thought, we only know ourselves through others. so it's only rational to think that in the process of trying to look for yourself, it is highly predictably plausible that you are going to find yourself through someone else.

UNLUCKY ME CHICKEN

2004
isang araw nung college ako, wala na ako pera at kinabukasan pa ako padadalahan ng allowance, nakalimutan ko na kung magkano na lang natitira sa pera ko pero sakto na lang sa dalawang noodles. isa sa tanghalian at isa sa hapunan. bumili ako ng isang LUCKY ME CHICKEN para sa tanghalian. hindi ko agad binili yung para sa hapunan kasi baka magka-emergency, walang matitira sakin kahit benchingko. nung iluluto ko na at binuksan ko na ang pakete, UNLUCKY ME CHICKEN pala yung nabili ko. kasi walang pakete para sa seasoning. ang nangyari, bumili pa ako ng isa pang LUCKY ME CHICKEN at chi-neck kaagad kung may seasoning. niluto ko ng sabay. kokonti ang tubig kasi tatabang. ang nangyari, tuyot na noodles ang kinain ko sa tanghalian at itinulog ko na lang ang hapunan.

2014
kagabi, nagluluto ako ulit ng LUCKY ME CHICKEN para sa hapunan, dagdag ulam sa inihaw na liempo ng SR. PEDRO. pagbukas ko, dalawa ang pakete ng seasoning. TAKE THAT MONDE-NISSIN!!!

lesson: wala.

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facebook post
Thursday, April 17, 2014 at 9:46am UTC+08

blame on

the fault in our stars is that they're some billion light years away and by the time we see them through our night sky, they're probably dead on their own time. and yea, they're so much older than earth, and probably has systems of their own, so they're not ours. don't blame your failed wishful thinking on things that has nothing to do with you. fuck you.

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facebook post

Wednesday, April 30, 2014 at 12:08am UTC+08

lions 777

from the seven heavens to the seven seas
seven armies went marching in
through the seven cracks of the seven years
peeps the seven wives of the seven sins

P.S. i love you, but i hate us.

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facebook post
Thursday, July 10, 2014 at 11:19am UTC+08

screenshut

I often wish I lived in an age before computers, when we didn’t have screens to distract us. But I realized there’s one reason why today is the only time I want to be alive. Because here today, we have an opportunity we never had before. The internet gives us the power to share a message and unite millions around the world. While we still can we must use our screens to bring us together, rather than farther apart.

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facebook post
Monday, March 23, 2015 at 8:39pm UTC+08

learn from murder

and to take the words from the mouth of a former lover
just like i took her tongue and twisted it over under
"it's alright. it's all in good fun."

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facebook post
Sunday, March 27, 2016 at 9:01am UTC+08

What does Wiki say about you?

Tom is not a person who believes in bullshit internet fads. He believes that these kind of things are exactly like astrology, which arranges random nice sentences to make a person feel better about him/herself, and make use of subconscious thought manipulation to try and make the person believe what it says is personally and exclusively about them. People who actually study these things regard it as "remembering the hits, forgetting the misses", in which the consciousness is bent towards the parts closest to their personality while disregarding those that are not.

Personal Motto: "If you need random patterns of strings generated by a machine to validate yourself, then (bleeeeeeeeeeeeep)."

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facebook post
Sunday, May 1, 2016 at 11:29am UTC+08

reroute

kelangan mong ayusin ang router para magka-internet.. kelangan mo ng internet para ma-google pano ayusin ang router.. eh kelangan mong ayusin ang router para magka-internet.. eh kelangan mo ng internet para ma-google pano ayusin ang router.. eh kelangan mo ngang ayusin ang router para magka-internet.. eh kelangan mo nga ng internet para ma-google pano ayusin ang router..

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facebook post
Tuesday, November 12, 2013 at 10:13am UTC+08

bill-board

most of the time, music is way better when the musician is not that famous and not that rich..money feeds and kills musicians at the same time.

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facebook post
Wednesday, October 30, 2013 at 3:59pm UTC+08

human impact

"the most important thing in the world is not money..or 'love'..or 'belief'..or whatever stereotypical cliche bullshit..it is HUMAN INTERACTION..HUMAN IMPACT..either be human interaction to another human..or to a stupid dog..or to the nature itself..we all live in this spaceship earth..and unless you can attain light speed, there is no escape.." -unanimous anonymous

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facebook post
Monday, September 2, 2013 at 10:29am UTC+08

pilosopiya

tumae ka man ng dugo, ikaw pa rin ang gagawa, kaya gawin mo na.
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facebook post
Monday, January 12, 2015 at 3:32pm UTC+08

dark whatter

can (of) thoughts

dear physicists, we already know that the universe is expanding, right? not only that, it is accelerating. have you ever considered into account the earth's over population? every second, 4 babies are born. and since vaccines have eradicated causes of early deaths, almost everyone survives to grow (up / old). aren't we pushing the space above us? and what if the other worlds beyond our observable universe are also as stupid as earthlings who couldn't control their population? from the near infinite possibilities, could it be that we are responsible? what if dark energy is our collective radiation sent across the void? what if dark matter is us? what if..i'm just hungry?

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facebook post
Sunday, January 18, 2015 at 1:36pm UTC+08