the three-date theory is getting old

"i deactivated my fb. and reactivated the old one. the original account that fb blocked for about a year. got it back early this year but deactivated it right away. everything's irrelevant anyway. so yesterday, i logged into it again just so i could sanitize it. i'm deleting everything. every photo. posts. likes. comments. i'm seeing everything. everything about me and the ex. every stupid comment on a photo. and listening to my ambient playlist isn't helping. i feel a little bit like crying. i'm not actually though. but it still has this sting in my chest. 9 years. that was a long time. maybe i'm not over her yet. and maybe i, too, have been and am using you for some kind of distraction. i'm not over her, not in a way that i'm still madly in love with her, no. i think i'm not over in a way that i still feel vengeance in me. that i still think of the usual "it's your loss" kinda thing. well. i don't know really. so. yea. good morning to you, too."
Sent March 28, 10:40

"I was confused as to what you actually want from me. I'm taken, but I'm not an android. I still feel things and I'm not sure how you expect people to switch on and off what they feel at your convenience. I still wish you'll be happy, and I really do hope life will treat you well."
Received March 28, 10:52

"i suck hard at life. and i drag people down with me. please stay away for your own good. i'm deleting your number. sorry about the books. i guess you're never getting them back. good riddance old friend. good riddance. i mean well."
Sent March 28, 11:09