there is something that i have been keeping from you. i never found the right time to talk about it. it was either i thought you are not ready, but mostly because i am not ready. anyway, please finish reading this.
to me, religion is earth bound. there's no religion outside of it. religion is a culture; in which we adapt to whatever is readily available upon child birth. it is a form of government, only stronger. the bible is written by people with limited knowledge from limited resources. they had to come up with an idea to bring humanity together through a congregation of identical minds. they had to explain everything they see, feel, and experience to answer the queries of the doubtful. and those things impossible to explain in their era are left to a supreme being they created in which they called God.
what they did not anticipate is that people will always have disputes. we are all with different minds. no person is exactly the same as another. this led to hundreds of other religions sprouting from all over the world. problem is, everyone is spiritually proud that they are the "right" religion, if something actually is. the only thing common to us all is our consciousness.
i have always seen that problem. hinduism, buddhism, taoism, judaism, islam, and even every other sect of christianism is disproving the existence of any other's supreme being other that what they believe in. everyone is saying that they are lucky that they have been born in the right religion. and everyone is sure.
i have asked you once, how are people that are never introduced to any religion judged? like the indigenous tribes of the amazon or the himalayas. you answered, they will be judged by how they lived their lives. by how pure and kind their heart is. i get that. that's totally rational. but why are there missionaries? why did they spread it out in the first place?
i have always been a believer, although i always had questions, i kept my faith. some of my questions were answered, some are not. and those unaswered ones all go to "God". because all things are possible through him. he is omnipotent. he is all powerful. he is the supreme being. he is God. he is the God.
but we are living now in the information era. scientists have developed machineries and technological advances to help further explain what was impossible to explain in the primitive years including the biblical times. and so the science vs religion war exploded centuries ago, which started with the argument between the flat earth and the round earth. the geocentric and heliocentric system. that we are the center of the universe. that we are special. and this is happening while the religion vs other religion war is still going on. that they are somehow special. that they are chosen. i have to say, i am not going to participate in any disputes on this matter. what i did, and still am doing, is just silently study what is the most rational, physical, and most plausible explanation to whichever question i need answered. whichever fits my state of my mind. whichever aligns with my own consciousness.
everything in the bible must be 100% real, because if not, then it is not the bible. i have not carefully studied it. i know i'm not supposed to. i know it's very intricate and must be studied by those who are rightfully commendable. but from our teachings, i know enough. i must say, i am not going to argue about the moral teachings the bible has. it has been the basis of almost every law people create. but now, to me, it is nothing more than a morality book. i have tried to defend the bible, not to others, but just to myself. i know it is your basis of living. i know you do not exclude any verse that you do not believe. you are a smart man, and thanks to the bible and our church, you are the kindest hearted man i know. too kind, if i may say. so i had to defend it to myself. if it's good enough for you, it should be good enough for me. but i was too late. i was exposed to knowledge that has been present for centuries. all i had to do was read. my field of study involves technology. it highly involves math and science. ideas that are proven factual. how the physical world works. how the universe works. how everything reacts with anything. how we became us. with these, i lost to the battle between creationism vs evolution. and i just lost genesis at that point. something just doesn't add up. there has been tons of studies that focused on the age of the earth based on genesis. they said from when God created the heavens and the earth up to this point, it is only about 6 thousand years. there are evidences that earth is not just 6 thousand years old. but they could be wrong. my point is, it all started there. questions are now being answered. and what i found out was that, there's no question in the first place. we have no purpose. we make our own purpose. and the most rational purpose is just to love one another. care for one another. learn from one another. basically everything the bible says about morality. but we are not special. no one is chosen. we are all children of evolution. of humanity.
i have been meaning to talk to someone about this. a minister perhaps, to help me explain the side of our church. this isn't getting any easier for me. if anything, it is getting harder everyday. i have stopped attending church more than two years ago. at first, i still attended regular worship service, but i just couldn't stop negating in my mind what the minister says. and i thought, if i was wrong and the church is right, then i am literally mocking the church's teachings right in front of God in every congregational gathering i attend. so i stopped. i couldn't even remember when was the last time i prayed.
the hardest part is that i have to lie to the people i love the most, my parents. i would understand if this will make you angry. i know the gravity and the effect of this to you, especially now that you are in sitting in a higher position in the church. i have kept this for far too long. i never had the strength to talk to you about this. i know that you're a man of science as well. you are a very smart person. i know you are smarter than me. i just have a diploma, but it does not make me smarter than you. and i was afraid it might change you as well. i hope not. because i can see that you are very happy with what you do. it has been the purpose of your life, to serve the God you introduced to me. i realized that it gives you an authoritative chance of helping other people. if we take religion aside, you are still helping them to be a better person. you have such good friends and i envy you at times. i know this affects everything that you are and i would totally understand if you would disown me as part of our family. but know that i will accept anything that would amount to your anger. and know that i have my highest respect for you and i never stopped loving you both as my parents. this is no one's fault, certainly not yours. sorry, but i can't go back now. i know this will change everything, but if you could consider, we could try and go on with our differences aside and just be happy we have one another.
your youngest,
20150523-1118
