you're supposed to get lost in the music, not lose the music

earlier i picked up my bass guitar and it didn't feel right. i swapped to my telecaster..didn't feel right. i listened to the recordings of the songs i wrote and they didn't sound right. i haven't touched my notebook for i don't know how long and it sure didn't feel right. and then there was this sudden realization that hit me so hard it sent me straight to bed. i lost it. my only outlet for all sorts of anger and fear and hatred and rage and pain and pleasure. i lost it. i lost the music.