may we make more of 'em.
we will make more of 'em.
Sunday, 31 December 2017
year 1
may we make more of 'em.
we will make more of 'em.
deep reality?
i don't know what it's like
to be with you tonight
cause we're never together
that far, wish you'd feel as i do
cause i'm falling into you
you bridge my yesterday and tomorrow
look at me now
the deeper way
try to find the feeling
i've been hiding for a thousand days
catch the real thought
of all my words
and try to realize
that you are becoming my world
you know the real me
the only one who can see
inside my heart
oh my friend, you've been the meaning of me
but nobody can see
i'd like to say, i'd like you to stay
2004.12.31_P09-04_deep reality
to be with you tonight
cause we're never together
that far, wish you'd feel as i do
cause i'm falling into you
you bridge my yesterday and tomorrow
look at me now
the deeper way
try to find the feeling
i've been hiding for a thousand days
catch the real thought
of all my words
and try to realize
that you are becoming my world
you know the real me
the only one who can see
inside my heart
oh my friend, you've been the meaning of me
but nobody can see
i'd like to say, i'd like you to stay
2004.12.31_P09-04_deep reality
death through tongue of absence
asking what's the purpose of your life
through mine
your glory's still roaming above me
unsocial
your presence, you callously left
so dreary
i can't make a single step
with your memory
aah
sail back here
asking what's the purpose of your destiny
and mine
and why do i grieve for your existence
and why do you laugh at your absence?
are you real?
you carried me for once
then left me half a chance
to get up on my feet
and live with unpleasant dreams
you ruined me
you're a sky of lies
you're noone but a belief
of nothing! you're poison!
you're never coming back
forever
2004.12.31_P09-05_death through tongue of absence
through mine
your glory's still roaming above me
unsocial
your presence, you callously left
so dreary
i can't make a single step
with your memory
aah
sail back here
asking what's the purpose of your destiny
and mine
and why do i grieve for your existence
and why do you laugh at your absence?
are you real?
you carried me for once
then left me half a chance
to get up on my feet
and live with unpleasant dreams
you ruined me
you're a sky of lies
you're noone but a belief
of nothing! you're poison!
you're never coming back
forever
2004.12.31_P09-05_death through tongue of absence
Friday, 29 December 2017
Thursday, 28 December 2017
bababa? bababa.
wanna hear something stupid? here it goes..
so i took the lucena bus from alabang south station, right? i don't know, probably about what, 4:50 in the morning? and it took off, let's just say 5. and i was so tired i fell asleep immediately. and so..the bus conductor had to wake me up to give a ticket. i know i was sleeping with my mouth open coz it was so dry i could barely tell him where i was getting off. he heard me the third time. and i slept right after i got the ticket. so..he had to wake me up again to pay the ticket. same thing happened. mouth dry. after that, i finally could rest. and i did. but not after this. here it goes.
i was in a very deep sleep and i know i was dreaming. and from the back of my head i heard "lucena! lucena! lucena!". it was the conductor. i woke up immediately after the last call. peeked briefly out the curtain and saw residential area. street wet from the rain. sari-sari store right in front. oh shit. i'm here. i have to get off. right then and there, i stood up and quickly walked towards the front of the bus, still a little dizzy, dreams still echoing from my brain.
conductor: bababa?
me: bababa.
so. i. got. off.
right after the bus drove on, i knew something's not right. i knew i got off early. but i was kinda hoping not too early. and guess what? yea. i was too fucking early. we've only been driving for less than an hour. fuck.
look where i was.
so i took the lucena bus from alabang south station, right? i don't know, probably about what, 4:50 in the morning? and it took off, let's just say 5. and i was so tired i fell asleep immediately. and so..the bus conductor had to wake me up to give a ticket. i know i was sleeping with my mouth open coz it was so dry i could barely tell him where i was getting off. he heard me the third time. and i slept right after i got the ticket. so..he had to wake me up again to pay the ticket. same thing happened. mouth dry. after that, i finally could rest. and i did. but not after this. here it goes.
i was in a very deep sleep and i know i was dreaming. and from the back of my head i heard "lucena! lucena! lucena!". it was the conductor. i woke up immediately after the last call. peeked briefly out the curtain and saw residential area. street wet from the rain. sari-sari store right in front. oh shit. i'm here. i have to get off. right then and there, i stood up and quickly walked towards the front of the bus, still a little dizzy, dreams still echoing from my brain.
conductor: bababa?
me: bababa.
so. i. got. off.
right after the bus drove on, i knew something's not right. i knew i got off early. but i was kinda hoping not too early. and guess what? yea. i was too fucking early. we've only been driving for less than an hour. fuck.
look where i was.
fuck.
Wednesday, 27 December 2017
Tuesday, 26 December 2017
eden
it all breaks down at one point as the law of averages takes over. the ups and downs somehow lose its form and gets lopsided. sometimes favoring the ups, but more often the other way around. reality has its special way of reminding you how badly you turned out to be. decades of hunger for success and multiple short instances of almost feeling it. the distraction of hobbies and relationships and good times with now lost friends seem to be too shorthanded. at the core of it all, you ask yourself what the fuck happened. and you dig deeper questions of talents and skills and capabilities and the lack thereof. and the deeper you get, the more evident reality becomes. the ever surfacing self-worth assessment. the fast stacking adulthood responsibilities. the sheer determination of peer pressure. and all you can do is escape through vices -- the drugs, sex, and rock&roll, whatever floats your boat. and that word alone, escape, leads you to a whole different reality. succumbing yourself to synthetic environment. seeing only bits and pieces of what really is out there. and you slowly die inside until there's nothing left worth saving. i now understand why people, wherever they're coming from, hang themselves. and i'm always reminded of that one line from that one film.
“Because when I was young and I'd get an A on a history test.. or whatever.. I'd get this good feeling about all the things that I could be. And then I never became any of them."
“Because when I was young and I'd get an A on a history test.. or whatever.. I'd get this good feeling about all the things that I could be. And then I never became any of them."
Monday, 25 December 2017
Sunday, 24 December 2017
you seem dying
before this december ends
i (hope / wish) to see you again
just to breathe you in
with this lonely heart of mine
your lips carry the poison
the only one that can kill me
it looks so red-tasty
it looks so blood-thirsty
and to you, this song i sing
but the melody seems dying
i won't let it a happen
i won't leave you broken
how can i pretend
that you're not someone special
if you're so stellar
which my wishes could come true
now with this blessed air
i hope tears won't wash away
these drowning memories
that you never cared about
and now december ends
when will i see you again?
when could i breathe you in?
with this lonely heart of mine
this winter makes me shiver
it's so cold without you
2005.12.24_38_you seem dying
i (hope / wish) to see you again
just to breathe you in
with this lonely heart of mine
your lips carry the poison
the only one that can kill me
it looks so red-tasty
it looks so blood-thirsty
and to you, this song i sing
but the melody seems dying
i won't let it a happen
i won't leave you broken
how can i pretend
that you're not someone special
if you're so stellar
which my wishes could come true
now with this blessed air
i hope tears won't wash away
these drowning memories
that you never cared about
and now december ends
when will i see you again?
when could i breathe you in?
with this lonely heart of mine
this winter makes me shiver
it's so cold without you
2005.12.24_38_you seem dying
2011.12.25_11-16
this scene is exactly like
the dream i had last night
with your eyes of fire
starin' back at mine
please don't wake me up
don't speak so much of us
i might gain your trust
when it's so unlikely to
see just us two
please do not wake up
just please don't
just please don't
well this isn't makeshift
(i guess) i can tell
if you'd just spill it out
i promise i won't be scared
love, it might not be the word
or maybe it is, it just sound absurd
but what the hell
just don't dream so much
it might lead you somewhere else
for it doesn't get more real
this is what i'm supposed to feel
let us not wake up
2011.12.25_11-16
the dream i had last night
with your eyes of fire
starin' back at mine
please don't wake me up
don't speak so much of us
i might gain your trust
when it's so unlikely to
see just us two
please do not wake up
just please don't
just please don't
well this isn't makeshift
(i guess) i can tell
if you'd just spill it out
i promise i won't be scared
love, it might not be the word
or maybe it is, it just sound absurd
but what the hell
just don't dream so much
it might lead you somewhere else
for it doesn't get more real
this is what i'm supposed to feel
let us not wake up
2011.12.25_11-16
8 and eighteen
another sunrise with a darkness in my eyes
wish you would come back and wish you would hold me tight
it's been eight months and eighteen days since you're away
and now the season is calling for a holiday
(so) open up your eyes
please never say goodbye
and even if your heart's away
i'm beggin' you to come back for just one day
another sunny day, but clouds're wrapping up my mind
i found myself lyin', cryin' out last night
i wish you were back here, so you could watch me die
and then you'll realize, you illuminate my sky
sometimes we forget everything we left behind
maybe it's only you, left in your mind
please open up your mind
please don't wave goodbye
and even if your heart's away
i'm begging you to come back and..
2004.12.25_P09-03_8 and eighteen
wish you would come back and wish you would hold me tight
it's been eight months and eighteen days since you're away
and now the season is calling for a holiday
(so) open up your eyes
please never say goodbye
and even if your heart's away
i'm beggin' you to come back for just one day
another sunny day, but clouds're wrapping up my mind
i found myself lyin', cryin' out last night
i wish you were back here, so you could watch me die
and then you'll realize, you illuminate my sky
sometimes we forget everything we left behind
maybe it's only you, left in your mind
please open up your mind
please don't wave goodbye
and even if your heart's away
i'm begging you to come back and..
2004.12.25_P09-03_8 and eighteen
hymns of forever confusions
i see faces
of my yesterday
when i was with you
so tragic
so vulnerably sick
i was injured
by the scene
when you left
so painful
so out of control
damaged, weary
emotionally tormented
by the
synthetic feelings
from you
no more goodbyes ahead
all pain, left in me
the sunshine of tomorrow
will never shine on me
now i'm on my kness
surprised by your shadows
in my dreams
sacred voices
shallow hymns
i feel destructed by the reality
perceived of your absence
so lucid
so obviously hid
unequally destroyed
selfishly killed
nothing
in my memory's fine
i'm so out of the line
without you here tonight
2004.12.23_P09-02_hymns of forever confusions
of my yesterday
when i was with you
so tragic
so vulnerably sick
i was injured
by the scene
when you left
so painful
so out of control
damaged, weary
emotionally tormented
by the
synthetic feelings
from you
no more goodbyes ahead
all pain, left in me
the sunshine of tomorrow
will never shine on me
now i'm on my kness
surprised by your shadows
in my dreams
sacred voices
shallow hymns
i feel destructed by the reality
perceived of your absence
so lucid
so obviously hid
unequally destroyed
selfishly killed
nothing
in my memory's fine
i'm so out of the line
without you here tonight
2004.12.23_P09-02_hymns of forever confusions
Friday, 22 December 2017
2010.12.22_10-15
listen to the three autumn shades
just so you would understand
how it feels to be me these days
and the other nine thousand
leaves of (amber / ember)
made sure it isn't (winter / december)
well, i've been here, i remember
well, this ain't a dream, this is forever
yes, i have friends to talk to
and few other people
but still it spirals down to
i'm still miserable
my sun is never around
couldn't be found by any sound
and this world that i sing to
made me underground bound
sent me long way down..down..gone
the autumn shade are just in time
this one's next in line
i am next in line
2010.12.22_10-15
just so you would understand
how it feels to be me these days
and the other nine thousand
leaves of (amber / ember)
made sure it isn't (winter / december)
well, i've been here, i remember
well, this ain't a dream, this is forever
yes, i have friends to talk to
and few other people
but still it spirals down to
i'm still miserable
my sun is never around
couldn't be found by any sound
and this world that i sing to
made me underground bound
sent me long way down..down..gone
the autumn shade are just in time
this one's next in line
i am next in line
2010.12.22_10-15
Wednesday, 20 December 2017
between the lines
you know what's the difference between fucking and making love? that! that is making love.
Monday, 18 December 2017
rainy morning song
not much has changed
i didn't come up with the formula
but it's so evident in many ways
Sunday, 17 December 2017
Saturday, 16 December 2017
12:16
moments, still hanging by
time, still passing by
but you are just too lazy
about our love story
you brought, smile to my face
when you gave me
the handkerchief you wore
back when we're on the swimming pool
everything you do
it all matters to me
holding on to you
is like walking on tacks with no shoe
grabbing on to you
same old shit
i always go through
when i'm with you
i always end up with nothing
we met, last semestral break
we should be talking, i can't wait
and then to nowhere i went
because of that car accident
from the small town you are living
i heard you're moving
to another place i don't know
i don't want you to go
i miss you, now we're growing
i miss you, now i'm wearing
the perfume gas you wore
back when we're in highschool
i guess this is the end
of my fucking love song
now it's time for me
to move on
2004.03.20_A04-05_12:16
time, still passing by
but you are just too lazy
about our love story
you brought, smile to my face
when you gave me
the handkerchief you wore
back when we're on the swimming pool
everything you do
it all matters to me
holding on to you
is like walking on tacks with no shoe
grabbing on to you
same old shit
i always go through
when i'm with you
i always end up with nothing
we met, last semestral break
we should be talking, i can't wait
and then to nowhere i went
because of that car accident
from the small town you are living
i heard you're moving
to another place i don't know
i don't want you to go
i miss you, now we're growing
i miss you, now i'm wearing
the perfume gas you wore
back when we're in highschool
i guess this is the end
of my fucking love song
now it's time for me
to move on
2004.03.20_A04-05_12:16
my chastity
gave you almost my whole life
half of me is with you now
take by your heart in flames
thought of letting go somehow
tears along my shattered dreams
you decided to leave everything
now i forgot how to forgive
for i don't know if tomorrow, i'll still live
now is it over?
i know you're glad
for everything you have now
is this over
yes over
over for me
you know you're all that i have
gave you all that i have
you took all that i have
you took all that i have
i have to move on to my next page
though your memory still haunts me
it's so hard to face a single day
without your presence killing me
2004.12.15_O08-06_my chastity
half of me is with you now
take by your heart in flames
thought of letting go somehow
tears along my shattered dreams
you decided to leave everything
now i forgot how to forgive
for i don't know if tomorrow, i'll still live
now is it over?
i know you're glad
for everything you have now
is this over
yes over
over for me
you know you're all that i have
gave you all that i have
you took all that i have
you took all that i have
i have to move on to my next page
though your memory still haunts me
it's so hard to face a single day
without your presence killing me
2004.12.15_O08-06_my chastity
2005.12.15_46
defying the light of the sun
your stars are blinding me black
those hopes are now despairs
myself..out..locked!
more alibis
more lies
more tears
no light!
a heart so transparent
yet so unpredictable
a tongue so silent
yet so dangerous
yet so uncontrollable!
yet so poisonous!
leaves of autumn tries to cling
last drop of sanity pours
i see them laugh but hear nothing
(you) my cross..my blood..my death!
red and black (!)
crawling under (me!)
blood and death (!)
walking after (me!)
(repeat)
you're all that's left
now lost
now i'm lost
so afraid
i still wait!
2005.12.15_46
your stars are blinding me black
those hopes are now despairs
myself..out..locked!
more alibis
more lies
more tears
no light!
a heart so transparent
yet so unpredictable
a tongue so silent
yet so dangerous
yet so uncontrollable!
yet so poisonous!
leaves of autumn tries to cling
last drop of sanity pours
i see them laugh but hear nothing
(you) my cross..my blood..my death!
red and black (!)
crawling under (me!)
blood and death (!)
walking after (me!)
(repeat)
you're all that's left
now lost
now i'm lost
so afraid
i still wait!
2005.12.15_46
fade
should i let you know that you resemble a past
should i let you know that i am dying at last
you got me all mixed up
now your smile is all i've got
to get me to ask you
if you can save me
so i can try to save you
wear your own glasses
and look at the pieces of what you still have
isn't it great that everytime you breathe
you're saving someone's ass
just by staring, your smile is worth my life
just by staring back, tells me those cards are always right
what if my everything's intended to end up with you
would you rather slit your wrist again or accept the truth?
should i let you know that now i'm more like dead
should i let you know that if i wasn't interrupted
that strangest night
i'd be pushin my way through
to get me to ask you
if you can stay with me
so i can try to save you
wear your glasses
and look at the pieces of what you save, you don't even know you are saving
you don't even know who you're saving
you don't even know i need to e saved, fade..
fade..fade..fade..
please..
2007.12.14_9_fade
===============================
fayed
should i let you know that i am dying at last
you got me all mixed up
now your smile is all i've got
to get me to ask you
if you can save me
so i can try to save you
wear your own glasses
and look at the pieces of what you still have
isn't it great that everytime you breathe
you're saving someone's ass
just by staring, your smile is worth my life
just by staring back, tells me those cards are always right
what if my everything's intended to end up with you
would you rather slit your wrist again or accept the truth?
should i let you know that now i'm more like dead
should i let you know that if i wasn't interrupted
that strangest night
i'd be pushin my way through
to get me to ask you
if you can stay with me
so i can try to save you
wear your glasses
and look at the pieces of what you save, you don't even know you are saving
you don't even know who you're saving
you don't even know i need to e saved, fade..
fade..fade..fade..
please..
2007.12.14_9_fade
===============================
fayed
launch under
you looked into me
for a single moment, you're under me
walked behind you
then there's nothing left
nothing left
killing every part
you've been the doubt of my heart
chasing you
with another
another
hit me
the exact
magnitude
as my
love
i'd rather die behind our wall
than take my fall
with someone else
i'll never find another wheel
to turn and steer
than your own
never will it matter
these riots in my head
never will it matter
these ruins inside me
2004.12.15_O08-05_launch under
===============================
launch
laundry
for a single moment, you're under me
walked behind you
then there's nothing left
nothing left
killing every part
you've been the doubt of my heart
chasing you
with another
another
hit me
the exact
magnitude
as my
love
i'd rather die behind our wall
than take my fall
with someone else
i'll never find another wheel
to turn and steer
than your own
never will it matter
these riots in my head
never will it matter
these ruins inside me
2004.12.15_O08-05_launch under
===============================
launch
laundry
i missed
i thought i got you this time
you're mine
so wrong, so wrong
i thought once again you'll be here
after
so long, so long
now
tears are here
drowning me
my breath'll soon be gone
wishin'
you'd help me
be here
and be mine all the time
if i could turn back
the hands of time
i'll never hide this feeling
that's been creepin' inside me
for so long
i can't keep this so long
if you won't be here
now, now
i thought i got you in my hands
my heart bends
so badly, so badly
i thought your face is so clear
so real
it's a lie, i'm a lie
2004.12.13_O08-03_i missed
===============================
historic pallas
you're mine
so wrong, so wrong
i thought once again you'll be here
after
so long, so long
now
tears are here
drowning me
my breath'll soon be gone
wishin'
you'd help me
be here
and be mine all the time
if i could turn back
the hands of time
i'll never hide this feeling
that's been creepin' inside me
for so long
i can't keep this so long
if you won't be here
now, now
i thought i got you in my hands
my heart bends
so badly, so badly
i thought your face is so clear
so real
it's a lie, i'm a lie
2004.12.13_O08-03_i missed
===============================
historic pallas
apartheid
don't try to ignore
i know you know me
just like before
it's always like this
like this
i'm down underneath
i couldn't get up
oh, help me please
seems like you're thousand miles
thousand miles away
i can hear your footsteps
getting away and away
please don't leave me behind
for the (first / last) time
let me feel you're min
we've been here before
and i felt this a million times
please forgive me
for now's the last and only time left
we've been here before
and i'll never be here no more!
2004.12.12_O08-01_apartheid
===============================
wrote this in a friend's car
i know you know me
just like before
it's always like this
like this
i'm down underneath
i couldn't get up
oh, help me please
seems like you're thousand miles
thousand miles away
i can hear your footsteps
getting away and away
please don't leave me behind
for the (first / last) time
let me feel you're min
we've been here before
and i felt this a million times
please forgive me
for now's the last and only time left
we've been here before
and i'll never be here no more!
2004.12.12_O08-01_apartheid
===============================
wrote this in a friend's car
shifting gear
your smile
took me away
now there's a change
i'll take it away
my heart's
confusing my mind
everytime
i get lost without you
dreamin' of a better tomorrow
as fire lights up my mind
this heart is so converted
to something, someone else
and i fear my own words
if you're here, i might
scream to death
as you watch me drift away
those miles
oceans so deep
kept you away
it's so better
so better
dreamin' of a better tomorrow
without you
without you
2004.12.12_O08-02_shifting gear
===============================
wrote this in a friend's car
took me away
now there's a change
i'll take it away
my heart's
confusing my mind
everytime
i get lost without you
dreamin' of a better tomorrow
as fire lights up my mind
this heart is so converted
to something, someone else
and i fear my own words
if you're here, i might
scream to death
as you watch me drift away
those miles
oceans so deep
kept you away
it's so better
so better
dreamin' of a better tomorrow
without you
without you
2004.12.12_O08-02_shifting gear
===============================
wrote this in a friend's car
Thursday, 14 December 2017
Sunday, 10 December 2017
as i wake up
sacrifice yours
give it up, give it
don't take anything
no one is giving
something to pay for
yourself, upon it
you may find
you may find no one
suffer
a love to die for
suffer
uncontrollable
suffer
a love to die for
suffer
suffer
open your heart-shaped mind
bring it close to you
and tempt your tounge into
something bitter than before
ignorant eyes so tamed
lips waiting in vain
resurrection of my dead heart
suffering
2004.12.10_T08-10_as i wake up
give it up, give it
don't take anything
no one is giving
something to pay for
yourself, upon it
you may find
you may find no one
suffer
a love to die for
suffer
uncontrollable
suffer
a love to die for
suffer
suffer
open your heart-shaped mind
bring it close to you
and tempt your tounge into
something bitter than before
ignorant eyes so tamed
lips waiting in vain
resurrection of my dead heart
suffering
2004.12.10_T08-10_as i wake up
2009.12.10_6
so in these last days of me
before forever darkness bites
hopin you're the last that i see
you, my only aperture of light
forever in this side is not real
i never believed in it anyway
but at this moment, still..
i'm wishing you'd be with me all the way
there won't be no more Summer
no more Autumn
there won't be no more..nomor..
i've never sold myself this short
this is where everything goesto waste
this is the hardest so far
this is me in pitch black haze
i give up
i'm sorry
i quit
as always
i thought no one could say how's these gonna end..
well, i guess i can..
watch.
2009.12.10_6
before forever darkness bites
hopin you're the last that i see
you, my only aperture of light
forever in this side is not real
i never believed in it anyway
but at this moment, still..
i'm wishing you'd be with me all the way
there won't be no more Summer
no more Autumn
there won't be no more..nomor..
i've never sold myself this short
this is where everything goesto waste
this is the hardest so far
this is me in pitch black haze
i give up
i'm sorry
i quit
as always
i thought no one could say how's these gonna end..
well, i guess i can..
watch.
2009.12.10_6
t-gun
i can't define
what i feel for you
walk away, walk away
walk away from me
i heard you scream
while you watch me die
take me, take me
take me, away
you're begging me to come to you
but when i do, you pull away
i'll break your neck, you little bitch
i'm tired of all the games you play
i wish you're me
so that you will feel
what i feel
what i feel
from what you did to me
if you want me
if you need me
just come to me
and i will throw you away
if you want me
if you need me
just come to me
2003.07.22_O02-03_t-gun
what i feel for you
walk away, walk away
walk away from me
i heard you scream
while you watch me die
take me, take me
take me, away
you're begging me to come to you
but when i do, you pull away
i'll break your neck, you little bitch
i'm tired of all the games you play
i wish you're me
so that you will feel
what i feel
what i feel
from what you did to me
if you want me
if you need me
just come to me
and i will throw you away
if you want me
if you need me
just come to me
2003.07.22_O02-03_t-gun
messed concord (sorrow)
this silence
you've seen all there is
to be seen
not my fault
not mine
these dark eyes
you looked at me like
you don't care
not at all
not at all
someone
somebody
some people
around you
around me'ts
you
yeah
i'm getting deep into you
i'm pushing my way through
stop ignoring
can't help myself from falling
into your hole
this sick heart
wanted everything
from you
your fault
yours
running deep
fast so fast
into you
2004.12.08_T08-09_messed concord (sorrow)
you've seen all there is
to be seen
not my fault
not mine
these dark eyes
you looked at me like
you don't care
not at all
not at all
someone
somebody
some people
around you
around me'ts
you
yeah
i'm getting deep into you
i'm pushing my way through
stop ignoring
can't help myself from falling
into your hole
this sick heart
wanted everything
from you
your fault
yours
running deep
fast so fast
into you
2004.12.08_T08-09_messed concord (sorrow)
file 120
this couldn't be
again
you are trying to
pretend
playing somebody in front of me
can't deal with your insanity
this couldn't be
again
it's ok but in
the end
you will look forward to me
looking for security
(but / and) you ignore me
yes, you ignore me
erasing the thoughts in my head
yes, you erased all the thoughts in my head
how could you do this to me
you are killing my memory
you are my amnesia
yes, you're my amnesia
forgetting everything
can't remember anything
you are my amnesia
yes, you're my amnesia
i am tired of this
deceit
crying in this pile
of shit
screaming out the sadness that i faced
controlling my mind not to erase
i can see
your face
looked at you a million ways
i can hear you loud and clear
but for a second it disappeared
who are you?
where are we?
who am i?
answer me!
2004.02.08_O03-10_file 120
again
you are trying to
pretend
playing somebody in front of me
can't deal with your insanity
this couldn't be
again
it's ok but in
the end
you will look forward to me
looking for security
(but / and) you ignore me
yes, you ignore me
erasing the thoughts in my head
yes, you erased all the thoughts in my head
how could you do this to me
you are killing my memory
you are my amnesia
yes, you're my amnesia
forgetting everything
can't remember anything
you are my amnesia
yes, you're my amnesia
i am tired of this
deceit
crying in this pile
of shit
screaming out the sadness that i faced
controlling my mind not to erase
i can see
your face
looked at you a million ways
i can hear you loud and clear
but for a second it disappeared
who are you?
where are we?
who am i?
answer me!
2004.02.08_O03-10_file 120
Saturday, 9 December 2017
Friday, 8 December 2017
Thursday, 7 December 2017
2006.12.07_74
stealing the stars and the moonlight
to flicker your face with the night
coz today, the sunlight is burnin' us white
the trace of your lips makes me weak inside
and these last nights, i've been dreaming only for you..
been dreamin' only for you..
my nights are only for you..
and the smiles in your eyes
bring me a vice of this heroic tragedienne in you..
such an infinite grace
to wake up with your face beside mine
it's the sweetest tragedy
to fall with you to destiny..
to fall with you from cloud nine..
getting away with the crime
of completing my puzzle by yours
if you would just let me in your door
i'm so tired of this, but i still want more
and these past nights, i've been dreamin' only for you..
..ten..eleven..
2006.12.07_74
===============================
sumagi sa aking isip
to flicker your face with the night
coz today, the sunlight is burnin' us white
the trace of your lips makes me weak inside
and these last nights, i've been dreaming only for you..
been dreamin' only for you..
my nights are only for you..
and the smiles in your eyes
bring me a vice of this heroic tragedienne in you..
such an infinite grace
to wake up with your face beside mine
it's the sweetest tragedy
to fall with you to destiny..
to fall with you from cloud nine..
getting away with the crime
of completing my puzzle by yours
if you would just let me in your door
i'm so tired of this, but i still want more
and these past nights, i've been dreamin' only for you..
..ten..eleven..
2006.12.07_74
===============================
sumagi sa aking isip
Wednesday, 6 December 2017
2006.12.06_73
when angels break their wings
they are bound to hell
to avert the damnation for their sins
to snare the deed of evil
and when the devil's horns're impaled through their hearts
they become the ravens, hogs, swindlers..
greed grows as if there's no tomorrow
as if there is..coz there's none.
their days will be blacker than their hairs!
embittered with curses they now hold
they ruin even their siblings
taking chances just not to fall
what's there for them to fall upon? none!
evil fill their self-centered minds with concussions of greed for their own deaths!
2006.12.06_73
they are bound to hell
to avert the damnation for their sins
to snare the deed of evil
and when the devil's horns're impaled through their hearts
they become the ravens, hogs, swindlers..
greed grows as if there's no tomorrow
as if there is..coz there's none.
their days will be blacker than their hairs!
embittered with curses they now hold
they ruin even their siblings
taking chances just not to fall
what's there for them to fall upon? none!
evil fill their self-centered minds with concussions of greed for their own deaths!
2006.12.06_73
2005.12.06,07,08_45
now the signs are all visible
you are the only one left missing
your window's so opaque
even your silhouette's hidden
my knees are already bleeding
so as my insides!
now your everything has come to dust
and your peace of mind is now a must
but i can't just believe you still
feel the way you feel
now your scars are all visible
you are the only one that couldn't see
though your heart is healing
i can feel you're so empty
face the fact, face the reality
face your mirror, face me!
don't get so astonished
when you see your tears on my eyes
i guess that's your reflection
(this silence makes things harder)
(your presence is getting further)
2005.12.06,07,08_45
you are the only one left missing
your window's so opaque
even your silhouette's hidden
my knees are already bleeding
so as my insides!
now your everything has come to dust
and your peace of mind is now a must
but i can't just believe you still
feel the way you feel
now your scars are all visible
you are the only one that couldn't see
though your heart is healing
i can feel you're so empty
face the fact, face the reality
face your mirror, face me!
don't get so astonished
when you see your tears on my eyes
i guess that's your reflection
(this silence makes things harder)
(your presence is getting further)
2005.12.06,07,08_45
is planet
spend the money. sip that coffee. go get that planner. write your most intimate secrets. forget about it one night. have someone else read it. and ruin that person's life. then thank starbucks.
http://www.www.com.ph
like what the fuck is up with you? could you fucking let it go already? you committed the exact same sin first and you're fucking dragging this for so long just because i owned up to it first? damn, woman! you're way more fucked up than i initially thought! fuck! washing hands much? fuck!
(thanks to thefreedictionary.com for the perfect example)
Sunday, 3 December 2017
totoro
i know a lot of people love 'em with all their hearts but we have our own views and i just wanna say FUCK DOGS! SERIOUSLY. FUCK 'EM!
Friday, 1 December 2017
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