the year was 2006. i was working in this restaurant in a mall. i was a buss boy. it was an american restaurant, which is nice coz i get to meet american people and other foreign people, but mostly americans. no. mostly locals. filipinos. americans..well, they're polite people. they greet you. they talk to strangers. a simple hi and hello is a big deal to me. coz filipinos are a bunch of suspicious people getting weirded out when you greet and smile at them. they [we] instantly think you're gonna mug us.
some days, a famous person would walk in, like, an actor too young to be washed up. or someone from a band i know. or that one time, a really famous actress who's doing a promotion for that shoe brand.
and that one time, this girl with one of the prettiest face walked in. she looked young. she was young. probably junior high school young. i was 19. she probably was 4, 5 years younger. she was with her family. and they sat on this long table which was sadly not my area. we assign people table numbers and their table was not mine. so i couldn't have any chance of any conversation. and she was with her family anyway. and she was a kid, too, basically.
it was almost the end of the first half of my shift. they were having a great time. and i was just hoping i'd see her during my 4-hour break. yup, our work schedule is fucked up. we work for 4 hours, take a break for 4 hours and work for another 4 hours. so that's literally half of your day spent there, which is not that great if you're a working student.
anyway, i had to work double time to clean my tables just so when they are done, i get to hijack cleaning their table, since it wasn't my area. and i did. i did. i saw them started to leave and i immediately approached their table and said the usual spiel, "thank you for dining, see you again soon". but that time, i meant it. i really wanted to see them again. her, specially. and she gave me that normal "thank-you-too-who-the-hell-are-you-stranger-look" as she walked out.
her name was nicole. paula nicole. not that she told me. but our restaurant had this thing where the table had a large paper as a table cloth. and there were crayons so they could draw while they wait for their food. and really, they had to wait. sometimes even you'd see some rants on how long they had to wait for the food, or how bad it was, written in neon crayons. but that time, it was her name. i'm not sure if she wrote that down or the younger kid, coz the handwriting was a little bit worse than mine. which is bad enough. but i was sure it was her (coz i could've sworn i looked her up on friendster or somewhere else). and yea, i was just sure.
so when i stepped out for my break, i swear i walked around the mall for almost 4 hours just to anticipate that chance to bump into her or maybe just see her from afar. and i didn't. i fucking didn't.
so yea, i can remember writing this just before i started the 2nd half of my shift. pnp was her initials, and i'm not telling the other p.
===============================
pnp
and when i step out of this hell
i am so looking forward to
seeing you..once again..
the bright sparkle in your eyes
i once saw
so nostalgic, so magical
are you the one?
are you her?
are you?
hear me!
be her! and be here!
right now..is the right time!
come back..like your eyes said so
and when i saw you walkin' away
i swear i wanted to
follow you..and reach your hands
the sudden rush in my head
brought you back
in my space..it was your face
what's with the face you showed?
what's with the looks you threw?
what's with the words that your smiles told?
and what's about your name..(you wrote)?
and now i stepped out of this hell
i'm so so looking forward to
seeing you..once again..
but where are you?
2006.03.05_51_pnp
===============================
almost a year had past and i had long quit that place. i was re-reading things that i wrote, which i usually do, and i came across pnp. and i just wondered. about. her. i guess. so i wrote this. and it has no title.
===============================
___
what had happened back then was so confronting
i was so seeing forward to seeing you once again
now that i have long forgotten that hell where i stepped out
you're still missing..you never came back..
now tonight is the night
to reinvent the fallen destiny
this time is really the right time
for you to hear me
hear me! hear me!
from this deep festering wound
your eyes said you'd come back
now defy the myth of your promise
let me lay with you in bliss!
by that very moment you walked in
i felt the fire around me, struck frozen
everyone escaped my tunnel vision, objecting you
foretelling to..bring myself anew..
i sat there waiting
faces mobbed to millions
but never a trace
of your diligent face
seconds turned to hours
to years, into cries
still, still
no sign of your eyes
there i grew tired
til i finally stepped out of that place
still looking forward to
seeing you once again
but where are you?
and now that my little hope is beating
i won't let you slip away again
a single question is left hanging
would you mind to be my guest once again?
2007.02.07_81
===============================
today is October 12, 2016. a couple of weeks ago, i saw her on facebook. and instagram i guess. which is nice. she lives in palawan now. and i remember that face exactly like 10 years ago. 2006. that was a great year.
some days, a famous person would walk in, like, an actor too young to be washed up. or someone from a band i know. or that one time, a really famous actress who's doing a promotion for that shoe brand.
and that one time, this girl with one of the prettiest face walked in. she looked young. she was young. probably junior high school young. i was 19. she probably was 4, 5 years younger. she was with her family. and they sat on this long table which was sadly not my area. we assign people table numbers and their table was not mine. so i couldn't have any chance of any conversation. and she was with her family anyway. and she was a kid, too, basically.
it was almost the end of the first half of my shift. they were having a great time. and i was just hoping i'd see her during my 4-hour break. yup, our work schedule is fucked up. we work for 4 hours, take a break for 4 hours and work for another 4 hours. so that's literally half of your day spent there, which is not that great if you're a working student.
anyway, i had to work double time to clean my tables just so when they are done, i get to hijack cleaning their table, since it wasn't my area. and i did. i did. i saw them started to leave and i immediately approached their table and said the usual spiel, "thank you for dining, see you again soon". but that time, i meant it. i really wanted to see them again. her, specially. and she gave me that normal "thank-you-too-who-the-hell-are-you-stranger-look" as she walked out.
her name was nicole. paula nicole. not that she told me. but our restaurant had this thing where the table had a large paper as a table cloth. and there were crayons so they could draw while they wait for their food. and really, they had to wait. sometimes even you'd see some rants on how long they had to wait for the food, or how bad it was, written in neon crayons. but that time, it was her name. i'm not sure if she wrote that down or the younger kid, coz the handwriting was a little bit worse than mine. which is bad enough. but i was sure it was her (coz i could've sworn i looked her up on friendster or somewhere else). and yea, i was just sure.
so when i stepped out for my break, i swear i walked around the mall for almost 4 hours just to anticipate that chance to bump into her or maybe just see her from afar. and i didn't. i fucking didn't.
so yea, i can remember writing this just before i started the 2nd half of my shift. pnp was her initials, and i'm not telling the other p.
===============================
and when i step out of this hell
i am so looking forward to
seeing you..once again..
the bright sparkle in your eyes
i once saw
so nostalgic, so magical
are you the one?
are you her?
are you?
hear me!
be her! and be here!
right now..is the right time!
come back..like your eyes said so
and when i saw you walkin' away
i swear i wanted to
follow you..and reach your hands
the sudden rush in my head
brought you back
in my space..it was your face
what's with the face you showed?
what's with the looks you threw?
what's with the words that your smiles told?
and what's about your name..(you wrote)?
and now i stepped out of this hell
i'm so so looking forward to
seeing you..once again..
but where are you?
2006.03.05_51_pnp
===============================
almost a year had past and i had long quit that place. i was re-reading things that i wrote, which i usually do, and i came across pnp. and i just wondered. about. her. i guess. so i wrote this. and it has no title.
===============================
___
what had happened back then was so confronting
i was so seeing forward to seeing you once again
now that i have long forgotten that hell where i stepped out
you're still missing..you never came back..
now tonight is the night
to reinvent the fallen destiny
this time is really the right time
for you to hear me
hear me! hear me!
from this deep festering wound
your eyes said you'd come back
now defy the myth of your promise
let me lay with you in bliss!
by that very moment you walked in
i felt the fire around me, struck frozen
everyone escaped my tunnel vision, objecting you
foretelling to..bring myself anew..
i sat there waiting
faces mobbed to millions
but never a trace
of your diligent face
seconds turned to hours
to years, into cries
still, still
no sign of your eyes
there i grew tired
til i finally stepped out of that place
still looking forward to
seeing you once again
but where are you?
and now that my little hope is beating
i won't let you slip away again
a single question is left hanging
would you mind to be my guest once again?
2007.02.07_81
===============================
today is October 12, 2016. a couple of weeks ago, i saw her on facebook. and instagram i guess. which is nice. she lives in palawan now. and i remember that face exactly like 10 years ago. 2006. that was a great year.
